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From Isolation to Intimacy: The Robinettes' Transformational Marriage Journey

Updated: 6 hours ago

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In this episode, Ryan sits down with Charles and Stacey Robinette for an honest, story-driven conversation about marriage, quiet drift, and what it takes to build lasting connection. Drawing from their personal journey and new book, they talk about unspoken expectations, avoided conversations, and the moment every couple eventually faces when something has to change. This episode offers hope and practical insight for couples who love each other deeply but want to lead their marriage with greater intention before distance grows.





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Transcript


But one of the greatest gifts that you can give your spouse is a relationship with God. You know, you have got to walk with God.


Welcome to the Christian Leader Made Simple podcast. I'm your host, Brian Franklin, and I've been in pastoral leadership at the Pentecostals of Alexandria for over 20 years. I'm also an executive coach helping Christian leaders grow with clarity, confidence, and balance.


If you're leading in ministry or business, then you likely know just how easy it is to get scattered, lose your focus, and start feeling ineffective. I've definitely been there myself, and that's why I created the Christian Leader self-assessment. It's free, and in just 10 minutes, it'll show you exactly how to gain clarity and confidence as a leader. Go to ryanfranklin.org or click the link in the description to take the assessment today.


And now let's dive into today's episode.


Welcome to the Christian Leader Made Simple show. My name is Ryan Franklin, and today we're stepping into a conversation that every married couple experiences at some point but very few talk about honestly—especially in leadership. What happens when love feels strained, the connection grows thin, and you realize something has to change if the marriage is going to last?


Our guests on the show today are Charles and Stacy Robinette, longtime leaders, missionaries, and authors of a brand new marriage book that was not written from theory but from real life. Charles and Stacy have spent years in ministry, walking with couples through the highs and lows of marriage while also doing a lot of their own work examining and strengthening their relationship along the way.


Their story gives us a rare look at what it takes to move from just surviving seasons in marriage to actually building something intentional, honest, and deeply connected over time.


So, Charles and Stacy, we're honored that you're here with us today. Welcome to the show.


"Awesome friend. Love being here with you."


"Sure. Love you, Brother Franklin."


"So good to be here."


"Love you guys as well. And it's good to connect again. This is the third time you've been on, Charles, and both of your first sessions were tremendous. Stacy, this is your first; we're glad to have you here."


"Yes."


So we're here to talk about the book obviously, and I don't have a clue where this conversation is going to go. We have some questions outlined but are open to going where the spirit leads us.


Early in the book, you point out a moment in your marriage where you both realized something had to change if your marriage was going to last. I'd love for us to dive deep quickly—take us to that moment. What was happening beneath the surface that made it so defining?


Charles responds:


"Well, one of the chapters talks about some of the baggage we bring into marriage at the beginning without even knowing it. Stacy may want to share some of her challenges she brought into our marriage.


The reality is every married couple brings unique challenges—paradigms, ideas, hurts—and we all carry baggage into relationships. Sometimes people think those are cues that it's not going to work or that they got the wrong person at the wrong time—but that's not true.


Marriage is an opportunity for us to lift each other up, help each other become everything God wants them to be—to be support structures and encouragers.


In our early relationship stages—I brought a lot of trash into our marriage: I was backslidden when we got together; I was drinking; I had childhood pain and disappointments I didn’t even realize; I had massive anger issues—yelling, screaming, punching holes in walls—that my precious wife had to endure.


Stacy also came into our relationship carrying her own hurts: divorced home upbringing; physical and emotional abuse; isolation; an unhealthy paradigm about men.


So many things had to be healed from—addressed with transparency. We had moments looking each other in the eye being honest about who we were: what we felt; what we were going through; how we could be better spouses for each other.


The first two years were full of transition.


When we were first in Germany God gave us great gifts: brother and sister Enos—a couple who helped us heal through stuff we didn't even know we needed healing from.


You come thinking you're the total package but realize there are broken pieces inside you that if not fixed will be catastrophic for your marriage and ministry future.


I thank God for leaders who came into our lives helping us on that journey."


Ryan then asks Stacy:


"I’d love to hear from Stacy—the 'lucky girl'—what she felt was that breaking point where she knew something had to change?"


Stacy replies:


"I was just 18 when we married—graduated high school August 2nd; married August 27th—and flew on my first airplane ever straight to Germany after he’d been away for basic training and tech school.


I didn’t realize during all that he had really drawn far from the Lord. Because we weren’t communicating much I had no idea how far away he was spiritually.


It was whirlwind: graduated basic training; graduated tech school; married within three days; boots on ground in Germany within a month.


During that time he was running from God but Brother Enos stopped him in his tracks—took four months though.


I felt called young into ministry and determined he would be too because I knew God had called him—but he was running away.


We grew up very differently: I raised by single mother telling me 'talk about problems'; he raised in home where problems were swept under rugs—not talked about nor admitted publicly.


So there was tension between my desire for transparency versus his desire for privacy—not secrecy but privacy—like 'the whole world doesn’t need to know everything.'


We lived in what I call a 'glass box'—a tiny world with no house even—a total glass box—and it was different than anything either of us expected."


Ryan comments:


"I hear loneliness in your voice during those first four months—you’re married but isolated—you don’t know anyone—you’re relying on others just for rides."


Stacy agrees:


"There’s definitely a spirit of loneliness that tries creeping up—and recognizing it helps push through it—but it’s hopeless-feeling sometimes like there’s no answer.


He wanted secrecy which made things feel worse because newlyweds aren’t supposed to have problems right?


I felt like I had nothing left except this ultimatum moment where either he gets his act together or I’m out."


Ryan asks Charles:


"Can you speak a bit about her loneliness from your perspective?"


Charles answers emotionally:


"It’s hard not to cry remembering those times 31 years ago—coming home after working long shifts drinking with unit friends—and seeing my little apostolic wife surrounded by Bibles praying trying desperately for structure at home while I wasn’t there spiritually or emotionally for her.


I remember her brokenness—the tears—the prayers—but also when she gave me an ultimatum telling me I’m valuable—that I had hope—that changed everything immediately.


There’s nothing more precious than words of affirmation from your wife telling you you matter—that you’re loved—it’s balm for a man’s soul especially one like me who grew up never hearing those words."


He continues:


"Even now when I feel down or unsure I ask her for comfort—a hug—and she comes alongside me tenderly—that’s life-giving healing."


Ryan reflects:


"I teach leaders about having life teams including their spouse as number one—the person they can be most vulnerable with—and it sounds like that’s true for you two—a partnership built on transparency."


Charles agrees:


"Absolutely—we’ve learned not to sweep things under rugs but be honest about thoughts feelings actions needing prayer support together."


Ryan moves conversation forward:


"You’ve experienced seasons where externally things looked fine but internally connection was thin—can you share about one such season?"


Charles replies:


"When transitioning from military back home we floundered spiritually—we bought a house—I thought ‘I can fix this house’ so took down walls impulsively only realizing later how overwhelmed I was physically/emotionally/spiritually distracted without strong prayer life or marital connection—that chaos showed me clearly: no strong marriage without strong walk with God."


He adds:


"We faced outside distractions family finances jobs ministry responsibilities—all new challenges outside military isolation—which tested us deeply."


Stacy adds:


"We had family nearby now plus civilian jobs which brought new pressures unlike living on base with few outside influences before."


Ryan notes:


"In those moments tearing things apart literally or figuratively—you both had personal rebuilding journeys? What did each have confront/rebuild relationally?"


Stacy shares:


"I felt like I needed strength early on while Charles struggled spiritually—but eventually my own brokenness surfaced too including triggers from childhood trauma causing depression anxiety breakdowns triggered by seemingly small events like ordering food wrong at Burger King which sent me spiraling until healing began with honesty vulnerability support."


Charles responds:


"I learned love languages late! Acts of service was hers but not mine—I needed words affirmation which she found hard giving because of her upbringing so part of healing meant learning how best support each other including grace around wounds triggers while creating space safe transparent communication 'no shame zone.'"


Ryan asks about "no shame zone":


"What does having space where emotions struggles can be spoken freely do for a couple?"


Charles explains:


"It builds strength—it lets men feel safe sharing vulnerabilities without shame—it creates partnership rowing same direction instead of circles alone—it’s real manly being transparent when spouse affirms supports prays alongside you—it’s foundational intimacy."


Stacy agrees adding humor:


"I didn’t even know that back then! Now it’s our strength—we keep working at it always realigning as people change every ten years needing fresh connection conversations laughter respect spontaneity balance honoring differences complementing strengths."


They laugh sharing stories of early misunderstandings grocery bags lunches acts service trying hard but missing emotional needs initially until learning better communication vulnerability intentionality daily rhythms helped rebuild deep connection over decades together.


Ryan wraps up asking final advice for couples feeling distant hopeful?


Charles encourages:


"Don’t give up! Be intentional! Go back basics remember why said yes dates conversations simple acts kindness holding hands kissing reconnecting small moments build momentum toward deeper love commitment daily choice renewal."


Stacy adds:


"Respect vulnerability recognizing problem vocalizing it seeking solutions forgiving distractions focusing on love commitment future together family legacy hope perseverance faith working through seasons growing stronger united no matter challenges ahead."


Ryan concludes inviting listeners connect get their book *Smooth Sailing*, available now on Amazon—a practical guide full of stories insights questions helping couples move beyond surviving toward thriving marriages grounded in faith transparency partnership grace humor love enduring all seasons together.


Also check out their children’s book *Princess Clover and The Great Woods* inspiring next generation with kingdom values adventure fun available soon!


Follow Charles G Robinette on Instagram or visit charlesgrobinette.com for more info ministry resources crusades mentoring worldwide missions partnerships opportunities!


Thank you so much Charles and Stacy for sharing your authentic journey investing wisdom encouragement hope into our audience today—we love you guys dearly!


This concludes our show today on Christian Leader Made Simple podcast with Ryan Franklin. Thanks for joining us!


Copyright © 2026 Ryan Franklin. All rights reserved.

 
 
 

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