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The Hidden Emotional Weight Pastors Carry That Nobody Talks About | Dr. Wayne Chappelle

  • 4 days ago
  • 10 min read

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In this conversation, Ryan Franklin sits down with Dr. Wayne Chappelle, co-author of the new book Heal Your Hurting Mind, written with Craig Groeschel. Together they explore a reality many pastors and leaders face: carrying the weight of leadership while privately struggling with anxiety, burnout, or emotional exhaustion. Drawing from both biblical insight and psychological research, Dr. Chappelle discusses why mental and emotional struggles are more common among leaders than many realize, the myths that keep Christians silent about mental health, and the practical steps leaders can take to move toward healing and resilience. This episode offers honest conversation, biblical perspective, and hopeful guidance for anyone who is leading others while trying to care for their own soul.




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Transcript


The moment that you feel like you've got it all together is oftentimes the moment of your greatest vulnerability. Because that's oftentimes when we get complacent and too comfortable.


Welcome to the Christian Leader Made Simple podcast. I'm your host, Ryan Franklin, and I've been in pastoral leadership at the Pentecostals of Alexandria for over 20 years. I'm also an executive coach helping Christian leaders grow with clarity, confidence, and balance.


If you're leading in ministry or a business, then you likely know just how easy it is to get scattered, lose your focus, and start feeling ineffective. I've definitely been there myself, and that's why I created the Christian Leader Self Assessment. It's free, and in just 10 minutes, it'll show you exactly how to gain clarity and confidence as a leader. Go to ryanfranklin.org or click the link in the description to take the assessment today.


And now, let's dive into today's episode.


Welcome to the Christian Leader Made Simple show. My name is Ryan Franklin, and today we're talking about something that all pastors and Christian leaders carry: the emotional weight of leadership. The truth is, pastors are often the ones everyone runs to when life falls apart, but very few people ever stop to ask how the pastor is actually doing.


For a long time in church culture, there's been this subtle assumption that if your faith is strong enough, you shouldn't really struggle mentally or emotionally. But the reality is many faithful leaders find themselves battling anxiety, burnout, and other challenges while still showing up week after week.


That's why our guest today is Dr. Wayne Chappell. He's a clinical psychologist who spent more than two decades working behind the scenes with elite military and government leaders preparing for high-risk missions. Today, he works with high-performing leaders and professional athletes, helping them develop the psychological and emotional resilience needed to lead under enormous pressure.


He's also the co-author, along with Craig Groeschel, of the brand new book *Heal Your Hurting Mind*. This is going to be a really important conversation today for pastors and leaders.


Dr. C., I'm really glad that you're here. Welcome to the show.


Thank you for having me, Ryan. I really appreciate it.


I've been excited about getting together with you ever since you agreed to this. Before we jump into heavy ground here—we're going to jump quick and deep—I just want to know: how are you today?


I'm good. I'm really good. It's been a busy last few weeks with travel and so on, but I'm doing really well. Thanks for asking.


Absolutely. Well, your book is tremendous. I'm not totally done with it yet but have listened to about half so far and look forward to finishing it this coming week.


One of the myths you've mentioned in the book is that faith alone should fix everything—that's a myth—and I see this in church circles even today quite a bit. How do you help leaders understand the relationship between spiritual health, emotional health, and practical health?


That's a really good question. You have to be intentional in all three areas. You can be in a great spiritual place—having routines like prayer, scripture reading, devotions—and involved deeply in church life feeling connected with Christ.


But we're imperfect human beings, so it's important to acknowledge that even though spiritual practices can strengthen us for life's challenges, they don't necessarily prevent depression, anxiety, addictions, or other struggles we all face at some level.


Faith is key to understanding who we are and navigating life’s complications through a relationship with Christ; however, being human means we will have struggles.


One example I like to give is David from the Old Testament—a man after God's own heart—who wrote powerful scripture yet struggled with depression and anxiety. If someone like David could face these struggles despite his faith and leadership qualities, then certainly others can too.


Makes sense.


Another myth related to that first one is that people think if you have faith you shouldn't struggle mentally or emotionally—and you've just touched on this—but why do you think this myth has been so damaging in church culture?


I think there’s been this push saying if you live perfectly according to God’s will everything should be okay—but that’s simply not true; it’s a huge myth.


In fact, following Christ closely often means drawing attention from adversaries (spiritual forces) who try to exploit any vulnerability—whether anxiety, depression or trauma—to cause harm.


So struggling doesn’t mean lack of faith; sometimes it means you're on the right track spiritually but facing greater opposition.


Often God’s will involves tough roads with griefs and losses that bring us low—even biblical figures like Peter struggled with impulsivity and denial during Christ's crucifixion despite their devotion.


So even passionate believers with strong disciplines aren’t immune from hardship; sometimes difficult experiences refine us into stronger versions of ourselves through pain and testing.


I’ve heard people talk about wanting to live on “the sunny side of the street,” but many leaders look strong outwardly while fighting private battles inside.


From your experience working with pastors, athletes and military leaders: what’s really happening beneath the surface that most people never see?


A key trait of high performers is compartmentalization—the ability to box up emotions or suffering temporarily so they can function effectively outwardly even while struggling privately.


Pastors often get up and preach powerfully because they are great communicators but then wrestle behind closed doors where only close family might notice—and sometimes they miss it themselves because life gets busy.


The composed exterior can mask deep internal battles; this facade helps them perform but eventually those unaddressed emotions weigh heavily leading away from God if not managed properly.


What do you think causes pastors not to open up about their struggles?


Let me explain my background so listeners understand my perspective: I’ve worked extensively with generals commanding huge forces making life-or-death decisions; professional athletes performing under intense pressure; business executives responsible for hundreds of millions of dollars—all high-stakes roles.


But when I walk into pastoral environments I find it way more intense because personal life merges completely with professional role—pastors hold moral authority expected by congregations who judge their personal character closely unlike other professions where personal issues might remain private without affecting professional standing.


Two big struggles emerge: one is fear of judgment from their congregation which expects perfection; two is fear losing respect or position if they admit emotional difficulties.


I’ve seen congregants harshly judge pastors for normal human struggles like temper loss or alcohol use thinking they’re unworthy—which isn’t true at all since everyone has imperfections.


Also pastors worry that admitting struggles might cost them their role or lead boards/congregations to question their suitability—creating silence born from fear rather than healing through vulnerability.


That makes sense—and how can pastors shift toward vulnerability without fearing finger-pointing?


It’s similar across high-pressure fields: many believe mental health care only applies if they’re broken or struggling severely—but just like physical fitness requires ongoing care regardless of current injury or illness mental strength needs regular conditioning too.


You wouldn’t tell an athlete “you’re healthy so don’t train” because performance depends on preparation especially for unpredictable challenges ahead—including spiritual battles where adversity is guaranteed against successful Christian leaders.


The key perception shift: recognize imperfection doesn’t mean failure; be intentional about mental health as part of overall well-being alongside spiritual growth and physical care—aiming not just for ordinary survival but extraordinary thriving under pressure over time.


Who a pastor or leader was last year shouldn’t be who they are now; growth means adapting continuously as circumstances change—mental resilience built proactively prepares them for storms instead of reacting when overwhelmed later.


“You never rise to the occasion; you fall to the level of your training.” So prepare mentally during calm times before crises hit rather than hoping prayer alone will shield you from all hardship—that preparation includes trusted counseling tailored for high performers like pastors rather than traditional pathology-only therapy which often misses building resilience for future challenges.


Speaking of therapy: what signs show someone is receiving good help rather than potentially harmful counseling?


First ensure your therapist shares a strong biblical worldview aligned with God’s word—not secular approaches contradicting Scripture such as “do whatever makes you happy” which ignores self-sacrifice central to Christian happiness found through enduring suffering alongside others (Arthur Brooks’ research supports this).


Avoid therapies framing trauma sufferers permanently as victims incapable of recovery—that disempowers instead of equipping growth through adversity acceptance which life inevitably brings (uncertainty/unpredictability/unpleasantness).


Good therapy equips clients not by shielding from discomfort but by teaching how to engage pain constructively so they thrive despite hardships—not avoiding triggers but learning coping skills consistent with faith principles enabling flourishing under stress rather than mere survival or denial.


If a therapist articulates these values clearly aligned with Scripture then you are likely in good hands—otherwise beware approaches that may worsen problems under guise of help.


Craig Groeschel openly shares his own mental health crash in your book—what do you hope listeners learn from his story beyond what we've discussed?


Craig’s experience illustrates common pastor burnout caused by relentless demands exceeding personal limits despite sincere devotion—he was going full speed nonstop trying meet immense needs which led him crashing hard emotionally before recovery began through intentional mental health work including stepping outside comfort zones supported by expert care over years resulting in thriving again today as a leader able sustain himself long term while serving others well—not white-knuckling anymore but thriving personally/professionally alike.


This story encourages pastors not only recognize risk early but seek help proactively before crisis hits because burnout rates among clergy are among highest nationwide—a reality needing honest conversation alongside spiritual encouragement plus practical self-care strategies including surrounding oneself with trustworthy “wingmen.”


Tell us more about what having a wingman looks like practically for pastors?


In military terms wingman means someone who has your back covering blind spots during combat—a relationship built on trust/respect/love willing speak truth respectfully even when uncomfortable protecting against poor decisions caused by stress/loneliness/temptation/pain common among leaders isolated by role expectations especially morally authoritative ones like pastors whose personal/professional lives intertwine deeply making vulnerabilities more risky socially/emotionally/behaviorally without support system alert enough intervene early preventing destructive patterns before crisis occurs providing accountability encouragement correction love needed continuously not just occasionally when obvious problems arise keeping leader healthy overall body mind spirit enabling sustainable ministry impact long term rather than short term heroics leading quickly to breakdowns otherwise common without such support networks present consistently throughout leadership journey including times when things seem fine but complacency creeps silently increasing risk unnoticed until too late thus emphasizing importance proactive relationships fostering safe spaces where vulnerability grows trust deepens allowing healing growth transformation regularly practiced rather than episodic emergency responses only once damage done leaving scars harder heal later on reducing effectiveness joy fulfillment calling satisfaction over time dramatically improving ministry longevity quality ultimately blessing both leader family congregation community profoundly beyond measure practically wingmen notice subtle changes stress fatigue behavior lifestyle choices alcohol use relational drift etc., speak honestly lovingly yet firmly addressing concerns before escalation occurs helping recalibrate priorities restore balance renew energy redirect focus ensuring leader stays mission ready physically emotionally spiritually relationally equipped prepared facing inevitable challenges robustly resilient empowered fully alive flourishing continually becoming best version God created them be while serving others faithfully joyfully abundantly removing shame stigma isolation loneliness frequently associated pastoral struggles transforming culture toward openness authenticity mutual support shared humanity grounded grace truth love enabling kingdom advance stronger healthier deeper forevermore amen!


What happens when leaders don’t have wingmen? Eventually crash burnout happens inevitably if pushing forward 100 mph without support understanding endurance mindset seeing leadership as marathon/adventure race full ups downs hills valleys requiring pacing refueling rest recovery otherwise vulnerabilities intensify unnoticed until breakdown occurs physically mentally relationally spiritually jeopardizing calling family ministry effectiveness future legacy tragically avoidable through wise preventive measures early intervention structured ongoing care systems encouraging transparency accountability humility courage connection perseverance grace forgiveness resilience hope faith love all essential ingredients sustaining fruitful impactful leadership over time worth fighting hard maintaining daily intentionally diligently passionately relentlessly courageously humbly thankfully always trusting God ultimately sovereign loving faithful forever!


What advice would you give pastors/leaders feeling overwhelmed holding everything together right now?


First recognize what you're doing is extraordinary work beyond ordinary challenges no one else faces quite same way—you’re not alone feeling overwhelmed anxious sad angry exhausted tempted pride jealousy envy—all common human conditions even biblical heroes faced same struggles needing support help healing hope renewal restoration transformation available freely through Christ plus community expert care ongoing intentional self-care holistic integration mind body spirit relationships balanced nurtured regularly intentionally preventing crisis enabling thriving personally professionally eternally meaningful fulfilling joyful abundant blessed greatly respected loved deeply honored faithfully serving kingdom purpose calling designed uniquely gifted called extraordinarily empowered continually growing becoming best version God intended created infinitely valued cherished forevermore!


If listeners want connect learn more about your work where can they find you online?


Craig recommends visiting Dr.Chappelle.com where my contact info email phone available easily reachable also psyoptimal.com offers assessments resources additional info plus LinkedIn profile under Dr.WayneChappelle open invite message me personally respond promptly executive team supports too happy assist anyone seeking guidance encouragement coaching counseling performance enhancement tailored pastor leader needs confidential respectful professional grounded biblical worldview integrated evidence-based best practices designed empower equip enable excellence enduring success holistic wellbeing thriving flourishing impact kingdom advance worldwide amen!


Thank you again Dr.C for sharing wisdom insights perspectives co-authoring *Heal Your Hurting Mind* tremendous resource blessing many especially pastors leaders highly recommend checking out links below show notes!


This concludes our show today. My name is Ryan Franklin. Thank you so much for joining us on the Christian Leader Made Simple podcast.


Copyright © 2026 Ryan Franklin. All rights reserved.


 
 
 

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